No One Really (noonereally) wrote,
No One Really

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A clarification to the last post.

Restless Warrior: From your latest LJ post, it sounds like things could be going better for you... :-\
nor is hiding: Oh.
nor is hiding: This is just my obligatory "I hate people" angst.
Restless Warrior: Heh, I suppose we've heard it before. :P
nor is hiding: Indeed. =)
nor is hiding: *shrug* No, I really just... don't get society.
nor is hiding: I don't understand society's rules.
nor is hiding: People get "hurt" because people give them information.
Restless Warrior: You really don't understand it? Or it just frustrates you?
nor is hiding: No, really don't understand.
nor is hiding: I mean...
nor is hiding: Yes, it's what everyone is conditioned to expect.
Restless Warrior: Well, it's all derived from the fact that people find certain truths painful to learn.
nor is hiding: If you say something that's negative, then the person is to be hurt.
Restless Warrior: Can you honestly say that you don't find it painful sometimes when your more pleasant misconceptions are knocked down?
nor is hiding: Of course it is unpleasant.
nor is hiding: But it is ultimately more helpful.
nor is hiding: Than to allow it to exist for a long time then have it knocked down for you by nature or reality or whatever.
Restless Warrior: So, you admit that it is temporarily hurtful, but ultimately helpful? Well, I agree.
Restless Warrior: That doesn't mean you don't "hurt" someone when you tell them something, though. They are going to respond emotionally at first. If they are logical like us they will eventually get over it because they will realize you didn't tell them to hurt them, but rather to enlighten them. But some people don't even realize that.
nor is hiding: Yes, and I'm really sick of people going for things which are temporarily more pleasant but ultimately worse.
Restless Warrior: (That was a lot of invalid "they" pronouns.)
Restless Warrior: I think people often hope you'll learn the truth some other way, so that they don't have to inflict the temporary hurt.
nor is hiding: But this never happens, of course.
Restless Warrior: Or that things will change, making the issue will become moot somehow.
nor is hiding: Well, it does!
Restless Warrior: It can happen.
nor is hiding: But it's way more hurtful!
nor is hiding: It never happens in a way that is LESS hurtful.
nor is hiding: It is guaranteed to be AT LEAST as painful.
Restless Warrior: There is an emotional barrier to hurting someone temporarily. Plus, the person doing the temporary hurting must overcome the fear that you will *not* be reasonable, and react in a suboptimal way.
nor is hiding: Yes. But why is this fear in place in the first place?
nor is hiding: Because we DO react in that suboptimal way, because it is not "natural" to be told the temporarily hurtful thing.
Restless Warrior: So, you're saying it's a vicious cycle?
nor is hiding: I'm saying that, if we were used to giving this feedback, we wouldn't react in the suboptimal way, and therefore we would... yes, I am saying it's a vicious cycle. ^_^
Restless Warrior: So, it's yet another artifact of our societal evolution. It may disappear eventually.
Restless Warrior: But you have to deal with it for now =)
nor is hiding: Anyway... yes... I do have to deal with it for now.
nor is hiding: But I don't have to like it.
Restless Warrior: Nope. =(

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